What do we do? @LookafterU4me
More benefits of Journaling [Healing Series continued] Pt2
# Recap: self-therapy source, before therapy
Do you find yourself holding back your true thoughts or overregulating even in relationships or event therapy? Journalling can help process your emotions before conversations, or therapeutic sessions.
In many ways processing your thoughts beforehand can help direct or reveal what you are working through, or working on. Equipping you to stay on the subject at hand when talking to others, rather than having a disjointed way of bringing up different subjects
My conversations have become more concise over the past few months when talking to others. From personal experience, journalling has promoted more social awareness in everyday interactions, concerning what I choose to share with others.
2# Journalling is confidential
I’ve used to refer to my diary/journal as my closest confidant as it allowed me to offload distresses, hurts and internal thoughts like no other. In many ways, it has been a safe space to vent. However, journalling has developed as my life progressed. When I was younger journaling was more of a list of my occurrences. But as I matured my writing became more reflective and objective.
Upon reflection, I often found myself amid heart-aching emotions and dismay. But in many ways that was my therapy, my source of comfort & still is. If you treat journal-writing as if you were talking to someone else it can help you regulate what you say about yourself, and what you dare say about others. Remember, ‘Where the mind goes, the man follows.’ Nowadays journaling has changed into archives of achievements, goals, setbacks, prayers, hopes and aspirations.
Journalling gives you a chance to work through emotions and frustrations. However, staying amid emotions may not be beneficial in the long run. In the past few years, I’ve realised that journalling needs to be progressive; a time to heal and settle your emotions or feelings. When journalling is not practised purposefully, it may become unreadable. I’ve learnt that reading back journals several years from today can be very encouraging & uplifting. It can reveal how far you have come, and far you need to go.
3# A Higher Authority
(Yes, I said it) an Ultimate Authority – to those who have never heard that word before; you are not alone. I hadn’t until I read a research paper whilst studying at Uni. When I say the ‘Ultimate authority’ I’m referring to a higher authority – in other words (God). Years ago, I changed my journalling style to ‘letters to God’. This changed my perspective, because no longer self-talking, but talking to someone higher than myself. It was no longer me, myself and I. To those who don’t hold faith close, this may sound foreign but writing as if you are writing to a friend can be another way of changing your journal writing stance if you don’t believe in God.
4# A sense of gratitude
Last September, we had a training course at my workplace. A motivational speaker suggested that we keep a gratitude journal/diary. (For things we were grateful for). It doesn’t have to be in a particular format. It can be a paragraph or a list, it can be at the end of the week if desired.
For example, ‘The meeting went well,’ ‘I got home early,’ ‘Dinner turned out really well,’ ‘I didn’t feel tired in the morning.’ Things you’re genuinely happy about. Consider writing things you completed that you never expected to get done. (Like that blog post). Acknowledging everyday things may seem mundane. But life consists of everyday things. Consider adding gratitude to your journalling agenda even if it’s a quick note in your journal/diary.
Resources:
Journalling is an enjoyable pastime; it doesn’t have to be complicated. Grab a hot beverage, put on reflective music and write away…below is a poem about keeping a journal/diray and I’ve linked a handy soundtrack that can be beneficial when journalling. Journal away……..
20 Minutes of Peaceful and Relaxing Piano Music | The Abundant Life Soundtrack 2
Remember, so much awaits you when it comes to journaling.
Signing out,
– Lookafteru4me
Be Determined not to Quit – (Reset Post) 2024
Many of us are in a season of revaluation, reflecting on what has passed, what’s present, and what is to come. (In so many words)
Lately, I had to seriously reevaluate my life and redetermine my priorities – what’s important right now and what’s not. Without delving into my backstory, here are a few mindsets that have helped me keep things in perspective.
1# Revaluate your priorities
When we think about it, many of us have things we prioritize and other things that could be left on the back burner. Everyday life decisions may be easily categorised into essentials and non-essentials in many respects. I’ve discussed this in a previous post which I will link below.
“Take one day at a time” – Healthy ‘Mind’ Habits (Part 3) – LookafterU4me (wordpress.com)
When it comes to everyday decisions, we could be tempted to over-plan, overthink and unde deliver. The things we hope to achieve so often become a chore not a pleasure. And it can be sometimes difficult to distinguish what we should do now and what can be postponed to a later date or hour.
2# Know your values
When I say values, I mean what you hold in high regard. What is important to you?
Our values are so important, even if we are not conscious of them at this present time.
Life changes or pressure can often bring our values and beliefs to the surface. For example, a new relationship or employment status are some prime examples that can reveal our values best.
One of the key ways we learn our values is by interacting with other people on a personal level and sometimes through undesirable everyday conflict. Working environments, our friends’ get-togethers, church functions, family gatherings, volunteering and all opportunities to get to know other people and in effect ourselves.
3# Focus on what’s important
What do you hold with utter importance? Would it be something worldwide like climate change or endangered animal species? Would it be the prominence of social injustice or world poverty? While these causes hold major importance for society at large, there are present causes in our everyday lives that are significant every day. Your emotional well-being, healthy and regular social interactions, and financial stability well-being are very important to function in life.
Most new parents may deem it important to keep on top of their children’s studies or bring them to school on time. Meeting deadlines at university or college is important to a studying student or grasping an understanding of theories etc. However, someone struggling with their mental health may deem getting out of bed, getting dressed or calling a friend of importance, especially in recovery.
What you deem important may progress or change as we get older but some things will remain constant and unchanging. In many ways, it’s the unchanged things that define who you are as a person. Your principles are what set you apart from the rest.
– LookafterU4me
4#Refocus on yourself
Focusing on yourself can initially sound self-centred, but the intention is to imply anything but. Rather, keeping life in perspective in relation to others. Self development & self care is one of the core inspirations behind this blog.
Jim Rohn says it well, I quote:
“The greatest gift you can give somebody is your own personal development. I used to say, “If you will take care of me, I will take care of you. “Now I say, I will take care of me for you, if you will take care of you for me.”
Jim Rohn
“It sometimes feels like we need to try 10 times harder than the rest of the world (or the average person) to stay well – and if you get unwell – life goes on without you – everything stands still me.
– LookAfterU4me
Fear of Relapse and Prevention – LookafterU4me (wordpress.com)
4#Avoid comparison at all costs
In a somewhat competitive world, there can sometimes be an inclination to take a look at what others have obtained or gained, and internally desire the same. In many ways, healthy competition can drive us to do our best within the right context. However, constantly comparing ourselves can bring unwanted demotivation, frustration or a sense of discontentment when are eyes stray from our own lives onto another.
What you may have achieved at age 30 someone could possibly achieve in their 20s. Even if society reflects a specific order for everything, opportunities present themselves, resources arrive, connections are made, our status may change, no two lives are the same.
Even if were possible to reverse the time, or you could go back in time, we can guarantee we would have all the detailed decisions we have made or the obstacles we would face.
One more note:
I watched a handy film over the holidays: it’s a good example of a sense of discontentment gone too far, it’s not based on reality. But it presents a narrative that is helpful upon reflection. In many ways, it brings to mind a classic film called, “It’s a Wonderful Life” – starring James Stewart.
“Carole’s Christmas” | Full Movie | OWN For the Holidays | OWN – YouTube
I wrote this post to say, never give up, never give in, good things are coming.
Many blessings 😊
LookafterU4me
30 years + and still living ‘at home’; coping techniques for maintaining optimism & focus; untouched series
To some of you, this post may come as a surprise. But to others, a much-needed topic for the current situation they may find themselves in. You would be relieved and enlightened to know that there are still many young and mature adults living at home for multiple reasons, including:
# Too expensive to buy and rent
# Living expenses have increased e.g. gas, electricity, food etc
# Difficulty getting council housing – long waiting times (not in a priority category)
# Wages are not high enough (to rent privately)
However, some preferences present themselves when considering moving out or finding a place to live including:
# Unwilling to share accommodation with strangers (shared accommodation)
# Location/s of cheaper rent undesirable
# Priorities change – no longer able to buy
# Desiring to get a mortgage (save a deposit
This topic as come from from a personal and private place. Some have failed to see the full implications that many young and mature adults undergo whilst waiting for the opportune time to venture out on their own. I personally have sensed a feelings of frustration concerning finding housing, and acquiring sufficient funds to do so.
So, let’s start with the statistics:
Living with Parents
Out of curiosity, I searched how many young adults live with their parents in the UK. According to the Office for National Statistics, there has been an increase of people aged 15-34 years old living with parents from 1996 to 2015 in the UK. They claimed that 800,000 more people aged 15-34 lived with their parents in 2015 compared to 1996.
To some, this rise may not seem significant, however, you may wish to take into consideration that society has gone through many changes since the 90s. Technological advancements have evolved, access to higher education has increased, and different job opportunities have arisen accordingly.
Therefore, it would seem more probable that the number of people aged 15 -34 living with parents would decrease rather than increase. It would be enlightening to see how these statistics have changed in the present day.
The Living wage:
According to Statista, the living wage has increased steadily from 1999 till 2019, however, it would appear to most that the cost of living has increased, and the availability of affordable housing has decreased despite proclamations made by the government to provide it.
Average rent prices – who pays the highest?
A quick Google search of average rent prices, made me stumble on a website called NimbleFins, which revealed that the average rent price in the UK in 2019 was £868 a month per household. They claimed that social renters – (those who rented through a local authority and housing association) paid just under half of the average rent price.
I found it interesting that the group paying the highest rent per household was those who were within the age bracket of 16 to 24 years old. This group was spending almost half of their gross income on rent. In comparison to those aged 25-34 who spent 28.2% of their gross income on rent. The determining factor of why there’s such a significant difference in the percentage those two groups spend is not evident. But both reflect that there is not only a need but a necessity for affordable housing.
Although 16 to 24 years olds were highest paying group NimbleFins claimed that it was the group that found their rent prices the least affordable. Whether one is willing or forced to pay almost half of their gross income and housing, and some others are willing to wait until an opportune time comes to acquire affordable rent prices, I don’t know. – But I know to well the feelings of frustration, stagnancy, and depletion that attempt to bombard the mind whilst actively waiting and seeking a place of your own.
But I hope this post will give you that cutting age, or know how to maintain optimism whilst living at home, actively waiting for that opportune time to move out not only start but re-establish a place of your own.
Statistics aside – what are some helpful suggestions to maintain optimism and focus whilst living at home?
Some suggestions to consider:
# Redecorate your space (within budget)
This can be something as giving your walls a new splash of paint – acquiring fresh & uplifted duvet covers – obtaining some blinds. It doesn’t have to be expensive. But consider what would make your living space (room) more comfortable – more desirable, and a place you look forward to retreating – (especially on work days). The idea of redecorating may seem daunting at first but it’s well worth it when it’s done. Make small changes – and take it from there.
# Organise your space
This seems obvious, but sometimes we can get so accustomed to our room, that we can’t see beyond it. Organising your living space is a skill you can transfer once you have your own place. If you neglect organising what you have now, don’t necessarily expect to change this habit once you are living by yourself – or with a counterpart. I’ve learnt if you give everything a place it does wonders for your mental capability, and makes things more manageable.
# Vision board
Having a vision gives you a sense of direction and purpose for your life. Some may ask, ‘But what if I don’t achieve all that I set out to do?’ my short answer would be, ‘You can transfer your goals and dreams for the next year and so on until you have achieved them.’ – Don’t underestimate the power of vision.
# Save now (no matter how small)
I’ve always had the mentality that if I can’t save a sufficient amount then I can’t save. But this mindset is a deterrent when it comes to saving. No matter how small the amount it can make a difference to the smoothness of your move – when you venture out on your own.
It is the difference between buying a washing machine or having to take a weekly trip to the laundrette. Or buy a suitable wardrobe – or making-do with a rack of clothes exposed to the natural elements. It is the difference between living pay check to paycheck – or having some money saved for a rainy day. Start small, and these small amounts will reflect in a big way in your savings later on.
# Budget now (count the cost)
There’s a saying, that says, count the cost – especially before building a house; unless you start building and cannot complete it. Write down your income, and your fixed outgoings, e.g. expected rent cost e.g. phone bill, car tax. Then write your essentials & necessities, gas & electricity, food & groceries, and toiletries. Are your outgoings greater than your income? Do you need to cut back on expenses to have sufficient amounts to make it on your own? Or do you have sufficient funds to find your independence and venture out on your own?
#Is travelling a possibility? (staycation)
This suggestion is optional, but recommended. A staycation can & may get you out of the mind frame or stagnancy – feeling as though you are making no progress. Especially if you are bidding each week for housing, or you are working constantly – and yet still unable to afford private rent prices. When you find your own home – you won’t forget your budget-friendly holidays.
#Get outdoors
This topic has been covered previously, but it is very relevant. Staying indoors, or in the same confined space can make you feel grouchy and depleted – a change of scenery – whether that’s a brisk walk to the coffee or a stroll through a park with a close friend may and can shift a mindset of sameness, and has been suggested to encourage good mental health.
#Focus on short-term goals
Finding a place of your own, or planning to move out can consume our time and energy. Yet remembering that you have other goals and desires that you would like to fulfil, can keep things in perspective. E.g., eating more wholesome foods, introducing exercise into your routine – trying out a new restaurant – these are things that we have the means to change now step-by-step. Start here.
#Take up cooking
Yes, you heard that right. Cooking. You don’t need to be an expert, but knowing how to boil rice, without it getting soggy, or putting together a pasta dish in under 30 minutes can be helpful when you’re living by yourself. I found it handy to have an air fryer to hand, because you prepare your meat or fish, season your food, boil some potatoes, spray some oil, then leave it to do the work.
#Keep on top of the laundry
For those who have had no difficulty with laundry. This tip may come as a surprise. But for the longest time ever I couldn’t keep on top of laundry 🧺 no matter how hard I tried. It used to frustrate me because my basket would be filled with an overwhelming amount of clothing and I didn’t have the means to tackle it head-on.
The more clothes you have, the more laundry you are subject to.
Having a system in place can help you maintain your own place – as and when it comes. When you don’t know where to start. – Start small. Separating dark and white clothes seems obvious, but even go a set further and separate clothes into sections to be washed beforehand. e.g., towels (in one bag) duvet & pillow case (one bag) dark work clothes (one bag) and so on. Another handy tip I’ve introduced lately is: to pack away your winter clothes when summer comes around, so you have less to deal with.
#Be active in your search for housing
Mortgage
This post appears more directed at renting; however, your objective may be to acquire a mortgage. Living with your parents may be a way of saving for a deposit – and getting the financial means to acquire a deposit for a mortgage. Researching all things mortgage-related information will come in handy. What is the minimum amount of a deposit, how much will the bank lend me? What other fees do I need to consider?
Note: Sometimes banks offer information & resources (especially if you saved a fairly good amount in the bank)
Rent
If you are looking to rent privately, research possible areas and anticipated rent prices. If you are bidding for council housing. Look at the average rent prices, and be consistent with bidding. The process can be daunting – so don’t give up. Find out what your borough’s priority categories are. This can help you see things in perspective and whether you should consider another route.
Rent Affordability Calculator UK | NimbleFins – this is a helpful website – to determine the affordability of rent according to your wages.
# Strengthen your community – (you need people)
Once you’ve got your place, avoid the mindset of (I need to fend for myself). Other people are an important asset in our lives. Build upon relationships now – strengthen your ties with your family. See them as part of your support network. When venturing out on your own, you may encounter difficult times or moments of loneliness. When you’re out on your own you don’t what to only survive but thrive.
One last note:
This waiting process is not forever – when you least expect it, things will change for the better. Consider implementing these suggestions one by one -and test and prove them. And keep at it – if you are already practising these tips in your life. –
You are ready for change, but for now, change what you already can.
– Lookafteru4me
References:
Office for National Statistics. (2015). Families and households in the UK: 2015. [Online]. Office for National Statistics. Last Updated: 5 November 2015. Available at: https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/birthsdeathsandmarriages/families/bulletins/fami [Accessed 1 June 2023].
Martin Armstrong. (2019). A short history of the UK’s minimum wage. [Online]. statista. Last Updated: Apr 2, 2019. Available at: https://www.statista.com/chart/17575/uk-minimum-wage-history/ [Accessed 26 June 2023].
ERIN YURDAY, CO-FOUNDER. (2020). Average Rent in the UK 2021. [Online]. nimblefins. Last Updated: UPDATED DEC 22,2020. Available at: https://www.nimblefins.co.uk/business-insurance/landlord-insurance-uk/average-rent-uk [Accessed 26 June 2023].
Your Net Worth is …
When we hear the words ‘Net Worth’, most often we associate this term with celebrities. Take your pick, Lady Gaga, Beyonce, Elton John, George Looney, Oprah Winfrey… All you have to do is a quick Google search and their Net Worth or ‘Value’ is documented for the whole world to see. I did a quick search for myself; some of these famous faces valuations reach 300, 400, 500 million etcetera… But this made me wonder: how does society reach these valuations? According to Quora, It’s as simple as this: you take what a person owns, and then you calculate what a person owes. Then you minus what the person owes from what they own, e.g. their assets and wealth. Why am I telling you this?
Well, because you may not be a celebrity, yet we form opinions about our worth on a daily basis (in our minds) inevitably this affects our self worth and decisions and therefore how we live our lives. When you think of self-worth, how would you define it? I done a quick search; the dictionary defines self worth has self esteem which is ‘confidence in one’s own worth or abilities or self-respect.’ Yet I feel like self-worth deserves a definition of its own, self worth has a lot to do with our value, and how you see yourself. When you value something or someone you give it first place, you believe that thing or person deserves the love and respect that you give.
I don’t truly believe you can value yourself by monetary status. You can value a business by its profits; you can value a service that’s been provided. Yet this old mind frame of establishing someone’s worth or value in how much someone earns; assets or their social status is potentially dangerous. The economy is sometimes unpredictable, social status or a person’s occupation can change in a blink of an eye. We’ve heard of celebrities declaring bankruptcy – or closer to home, someone becoming redundant.
“Self-worth takes you further than net worth.”
― Matshona Dhliwayo
I’ve always thought of self worth as something that can’t be helped; you either have it, or you don’t. For me personally my value has always been deprived from what I do, my occupation, or my talents rather than who I am as a person. I’ve always been performance orientated for as long as I can remember. If I’m performing well at my place of work, or on a stage, I’m good (I see myself as worth it, or valuable.) Don’t get me wrong, it’s good to have a work ethic. Yet this perfectionist drive is unrealistic and can drive someone to utter despond when things go wrong.
I’ve looked back at what has helped me the most in the past couple of months…
Treat Yourself
To be honest, I’ve spent most of my time looking after someone else, this is not necessary a bad thing in itself. Yet taking the time out to treat yourself with little things. For example, visit a coffee shop or spa, book a sauna and steam room at your local gym or go to the cinema .
Don’t compare yourself
This is easier said than done, I still unconsciously compare myself to others, this comes in the form of nagging thoughts or sometimes critical thoughts like; “if I had her hair I would do more with it“. Or “I wish I was her weight, I wish I had her skin” – (referring to her clear, blemish free skin) my advice to myself and you would be: Make a list of what is right with you, all the things that are positive assets to you; I’m a good listener, I’m a good writer… (make a list that applies to you) or if this is too difficult; make a list of compliments, as they come over the next couple of months that people say to you, like; “I love your hair”, “I like your style”, “you’re good at …”
[This may help you reevaluate how you think about yourself.]
Positive Affirmations -These two words are getting more common lately and with good reason. When I use the word affirmation I am referring to ‘the action or process of affirming something’ and most likely something you may already know or heard, but you need to hear it over and over to turn that ‘knowing’ into ‘believing.’ I worked with a young man with autism a couple of years back; I wrote out several affirmations on a laminated pieces of paper I wore around my neck on a string– and whenever he would get distressed and in a panic over a mistake, I would get him to read affirmations back to himself. E.g. “I am a determined young man”, “I am smart”, “and I make right choices”. – And shortly after these affirmations he would slow down his breathing and calm down.
Approve yourself, before others approve you. Approve is defined as: ‘officially agree to or accept as satisfactory.’ When you’re doing something whether it’s a job at work, or a project, don’t solely rely on the approval or praise of others. This is something I have struggled with for a long time. Have this in mind: I’m doing this, because it’s the right thing to do… and whether I receive praise or not, I’ll still be happy, I’ll still keep my peace. A good book, in relation to this is called Approval Addiction, by Joyce Meyer.
“We cannot think of being acceptable to others until we have first proven acceptable to ourselves.”
Malcolm X
For other tips click below:
“The right to Happiness”
Reflection Zone:
Many of us are familiar with the Human Rights Act in Britain, for example, the right to life, the right to a fair trial, the right to liberty, to name a few. If it was possible to add one more human right to the human rights law in Britain It would be ‘the right to be happy.’
I think I’ve lived most of my life merely existing – awaiting for the next big thing, the next holiday, the next event in order to experience happiness.
One of my favourite films is The Pursuit of Happiness, featuring Will Smith and his son Jaden Smith. This film made a key point, that happiness is something that must be pursued and not something you can obtain in one-off miraculous experience (in my own words.)
I remember a famous reflection by Chris Gardener – (the character that Will Smith plays in The Pursuit of Happiness)
I quote: “It was right then that I started thinking about Thomas Jefferson on the Declaration of Independence and the part about our right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. And I remember thinking how did he know to put the pursuit part in there? That maybe happiness is something that we can only pursue and maybe we can actually never have it. No matter what. How did he know that?”
This point really hit home with me. I’ve always thought if I get my dream job, or meet the perfect guy I would be happy. It’s almost as if I have a mental checklist of the things I want to achieve. But sometimes when we achieve our goals, we can end up complaining about the very thing we desired and strived for years ago.
It’s human nature to forget where you’re coming from and how far you’ve come. I’ve found that keeping a record of your goals, or gratitude lists on what I’ve achieved on a monthly or yearly basis is a good habit to introduce to your life, so you can look back and remember.
New Year’s Eve always comes round and we set New Year’s resolutions hoping that if we reach those goals, we would be much happier and feel much more successful. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not bad to have goals, but don’t base your happiness on this alone.
You may be familiar with this quote: ‘You’re responsible for your own happiness’. But that seems like such a big responsibility, and happiness is not always something you can control. Happiness always seems to be dependent on what’s going on around us – at our place of work, our social circle, or our relationship with my family, or what’s going on in our minds.
I’ve come to know that there’s no quick fix when it comes to happiness, but I’ve listed a couple of tips that have helped me maintain a happy attitude in the midst of life.
Tip 1 # Carry your own atmosphere
This basically means remaining positive in negative environments, (this is easier said, then done) – by carrying your own atmosphere you’re building resilience and stamina to withstand any weather.
Tip 2 # Do the things you enjoy
I personally enjoy visiting coffee shops, ( that’s where I write my posts for my blog) I love writing – it’s an amazing outlet to discuss things I’m passionate about or struggling with.
Tip 3 # Break routine and try something new
I’ve heard it once said: you can’t do the same things and expect a different result – if you’re use to doing things a certain way all the time (like me) – change it up, it does wonders to your state of happiness.
Tip 4 # Cut off technology ( sometimes)
I sometimes find myself scrolling through YouTube looking for something that will catch my attention, this can be emotionally draining and time consuming. Know when to cut off from technology, or for some, social media.
Tip 5 # Rest your mind
Rest your mind- close your eyes and listen to reflection music – some people find that even if they sleep long hours they don’t get rest – their still tired in the morning. I’ve had firsthand experience of this, I’m still learning in this area.
Tip 6 # Get to know yourself
Take a happiness test (there’s numerous tests online, find one that suits you)I’ve linked two below:
https://www.psychologies.co.uk/test-how-happy-are-you
https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/tests/health/happiness-test
Remember this: You deserve to be happy – it’s your human right.
Listen to the quote from The Pursuit of Happiness:
Why Mental Health?
In the past few years, ‘Mental Health’ has been a recurring topic of discussion in the media. Recently, I eagerly listened to an interview-style audiobook called:
‘WHAT DO I DO? Mental Health and Me.’ Where Kelly Holmes interviews some of the UK celebrities who have coped with mental health difficulties. I myself have faced mental health difficulties… and come out fighting. According to Mind, approximately 1 in 4 people in the UK will experience a mental health problem each year. So if it’s so common, why have we remained so silent until now?
This blog is born out of the intent to break the silence and speak up, so that people who have gone through mental health difficulties don’t begin to think they’re alone or another statistic. – Help me create a strong social support network.
I will be posting resources, quotes, helpful videos, and advice I’ve picked up along the way.
What do I do now? – this is impacting me “Anixety Refocused.” Pt.3
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Understanding is progress – “Anxiety” Pt.2
Understanding what’s behind my feelings:
Sometimes, it’s hard to say what causes anxiety or anxiety-related feelings. In our last post, we discussed defining and adopting different vocabulary for what we may be experiencing. I’ve listed a few personal things that have influenced how I feel and react to everyday situations.
People’s perceptions:
Worrying about what others think of me, and how I’m perceived by others
Other people’s perceptions are not constant and not always reliable. One learns that ‘First impressions’ are not always factual; people can get things wrong.
You’re own perceptions
My personal view of myself, my values and what I truly believe about myself. What I think about myself impacts my confidence
Showing up for yourself as you would a friend may encourage self-compassion, self-acceptance and self-worth.
Pursuing self-development and reading offers many benefits for self-esteem and revalidation of personal values. Renewing one’s self-perception through reading, journaling, and praying can help one’s well-being.
Recommended Books:
“Why Has Nobody Told Me This?” by Dr Julie Smith.
“Coach Yourself Confident” by Julie Smith
Change and transition
Venturing out into new things can cause feelings of nervousness or apprehension to surface:
For example, a change in employment or relationship status can sometimes impact areas of one’s life, such as organisation and time management.
Prepare for change before it occurs. But when it comes unexpectedly, take a breath, give yourself the space to process it, and write things down. It’s ok to create a vision board mid-year and re-evaluate your situation.
Conflict and disagreements
Conflicts and disagreements can impact how you see yourself, others and your current season
Slow down conflict before it escalates. If a conflict occurs, consider getting fresh air, drinking cool water, or running a bath, and allow yourself a few minutes to step away from the situation.
Social Isolation
Even unintentional social isolation can cause feelings of anxiety or apprehension. I personally favour working from my computer and doing online courses
However, going for a walk, a gentle run or going outside the garden can give the mind a break from technology and feelings of isolation. Texting a friend or calling a family member can be a gradual step towards reconnecting with others.
Dear readers, I hope you found (part 2) beneficial in understanding possible causes of feelings of anxiety.
Enjoy your day,
LookafterU4me
Define what you mean by “Anxiety” Pt.1
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What book would I read over and over again?
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This month’s reminder: LookafterU4me
In a world that is often so performance-oriented; it can be easy to put pressure on ourselves that is unhelpful. But when you’ve tried your best, and done all you can do: acknowledge it. Write it down, internalise that you’ve done your best and the rest can be left till another date. So, don’t be so hard on yourself, you’re doing okay.
– LookafterU4me
We remember you: LookafterU4me [free printable]
As our month of celebration is coming to a close. We hope we’ve inspired readers to grab a hot beverage and get reading. Each of our posts is personable, relatable and real and aims to engage and encourage the reader on the journey.
Feel free to ‘read’ ‘like’ ‘follow’ and share. – Enjoy your week fellow readers and bloggers. We’ve included a free printable below.
Signing out,
LookafterU4me
It’s ‘LookafterU4me’s birthday! [Free printable]
It’s our official birthday. Now and then all need reminding that we are loved – because we are. Each post at LookafterU4me is made from a place of love for people. We hope you take a trip down memory lane and look back at some of our posts this weekend as we celebrate this month. Feel free to download our printable free birthday reminder by clicking the button.
Look back at some older posts:
We are celebrating 5 years [free printable bookmarks pdf]
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LookafterU4me 
